For your viewing pleasure...

Sorry, admirers, for my absence.  I kind of forgot about this blog until D.O.G. started blabbing about how his is taking off with a grand, spanking total of five whole followers (holy frick, someone get the paparazzi off of him before he suffocates).  Unfortunately, I had plans for today so I can't write up my entire history for you at the moment.

So to satiate your desire for information on my life, I am going to instead share a video that I find helps explain the way I feel about my life sometimes.  I hope you enjoy.

You're welcome for my presence, world.

I can’t believe I’m doing this, but D.O.G down the street keeps his own blog, and I simply can’t let a canine beat me.

           

D.O.G.  That’s not pronounced like the word “dog”; that’s the letters D, O, and G pronounced in order.  Like “dee-oh-jee.”  What a completely unoriginal name.  His owners are apparently dim-wits.  At least I get a good laugh out of it.

          

I’m not entirely sure how I’m supposed to do this.  Since it’s my first post, maybe I should introduce myself.  Hi, to whoever is reading this; my name is Mitchell.  That is the name my mother gave me at birth.  You can call me Mitch for short.  However, my staff members call me Mr. Whiskers.  (…I take it back.  D.O.G.’s owners don’t seem so dim-witted now.)

Maybe I should clarify what I mean by “staff members.”  You may know these humans by another term I’ve already used: “owners.”  D.O.G. has owners.  I have staff.  The humans think they are my owners, and I continue to let them keep thinking that.  Honestly, it tends to work out better for me that way.  They are less frustrated when I don’t try to boss them around, and this translates into me getting spoiled a lot more because they think I’m adorable.  Sometimes you just have to play stupid to ultimately be in control.  Ironically awesome.

Do personalities often share their life stories on these blogs?  I suppose I could do that, but maybe the next post.  Pretty sure I hear tuna being opened in the kitchen… Did I mention I just did some adorable tricks for the staff?